So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
No subtext here. People are naked.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
