How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
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