That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
My Higher Power is John Stamos
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I think I just sharted jello shots
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