There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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