How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
