Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
