Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Boobs are out for the taking
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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