32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
