She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
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