i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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