It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize