I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
