Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
