Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
