Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
