Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize