Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
