I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He felt like a one man threesome
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize