its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
