Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
