They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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