Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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