It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
