Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
