its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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