Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
