Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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