he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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