I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
We're too hungover to prance.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
