if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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