I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
My liver just had a heart attack.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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