i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
