Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
