yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
