My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I cannot find my penis.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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