was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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