you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
accomplished twins. life is a go
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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