I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize