he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
