this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
