the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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