Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
even my farts smell like vagina
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
