Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
