I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
