is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize