2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
