Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
