I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
