My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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