You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
