they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
