Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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