STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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