All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
