i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
