apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
